So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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