this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
