Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
