And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
