Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize