I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
