Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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