Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
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I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
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I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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