there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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