Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i've created a new STD.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
