just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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