porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
