I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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