do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Text me some of your sweat
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