my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
FUCK WHALES
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