Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
