Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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