I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
