She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
