Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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