According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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