It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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