But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
