i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
