you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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