when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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