Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
