I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
