I wish I could teleport
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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