I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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