i just had sex bonerless
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
