What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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