No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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