Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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