The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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