Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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