I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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