i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize