after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
