doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
