will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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