My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
