If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
