Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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