can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
