hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
