Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize