this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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