i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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