i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
