My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
