Buhtt sex?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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