So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
