tell your sister to shave her snatch
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize