That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
