We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
