Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
