she was so not down for the gang bang
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
