Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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