fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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