Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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