i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
